


Worthless

by KittyKaulitz



Category: DRAMAtical Murder (Visual Novel), DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Other, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, in which i project onto koujaku
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2016-09-16
Packaged: 2018-08-15 08:59:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8050162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittyKaulitz/pseuds/KittyKaulitz
Summary: Koujaku is nothing without him.





	Worthless

Koujaku sat alone on his bed, and unsheathed his sword. He started at it blankly for a few seconds, before he turned it over in his hands and smiled.

 

_I couldn’t even make him happy._

 

He ran a finger along the blade, calmly watching the cool, sharp metal cut into his finger.

 

_What am I without him?_

 

A few drops of blood rolled down the sword, the red causing the grey of the metal to look darker in contrast. The smile persevered, but he started to well up.

 

_I’m nothing._

 

Tears spilled out of his eyes, and rolled down his cheeks, splashing onto and diluting the blood. A few drops hung on his lips; they tasted salty and bitter.

 

_I don’t even deserve to be able to cry._

 

He raised the blade, and turned it to face him.

 

_I’m worthless._

 

Koujaku lifted his chin a little and pressed the tip of the sword against his neck. It was even colder on his throat.

 

_I’m nothing._

 

A small sob slipped out of him, and his arms started to shake. He pressed the blade into his throat a little, but couldn’t get himself to break the skin.

 

_End it now._

 

He tried to push the blade further, but found he couldn’t. It was like he was pressing against rock. His hands felt numb, despite the fact they were now bleeding heavily from holding the blade itself.

 

_I really am nothing._

 

Finally, after struggling against himself, he found himself unable to press the blade any further. Exhausted, he laid it on the bed beside him, feeling slightly dizzy from the metallic smell of the blood coming from his hands.

 

_I couldn’t even do it._

 

Koujaku leant forward, elbows on knees, head in hands. The blood smeared onto his face, but he felt numb. He gave into his emotion and broke into tears, biting his own lip so hard it bruised.

 

_I’m a coward._


End file.
